Intentional Parenting: A Unique Approach to Raising Tweens and Teens with Confidence

 Raised by the Woods:

How an Off-Grid Childhood Shaped a New Way to Parent

Are you searching for a parenting approach that fosters independence, resilience, and strong family bonds? In my upcoming book, Raised by the Woods, I share how my unconventional childhood—growing up deep woods of New Hampshire—shaped my unique method for raising confident and connected kids.

How it all Started

In the summer of 1975, Rick and Martha Connolly, in their late 20’s-early 30’s tossed me and my four siblings into the back of a green 1960 Ford mason’s truck and drove us to the deep woods of New Hampshire to reset from life in the Boston suburbs. From 3 -10 years old, we watched our parents build our family out of 10 acres of land with no home, running water, electricity, only a tent trailer for sleeping, and a 55-gallon drum for bathing. The following 8 years of growing up in the woods laid the foundation for this book. 

Define Your Family on Your Own Terms

I came out of those woods deeply knowing what "family" meant. Being intentional about family life means defining it your way. My parents did that when they moved us deep into the woods of Strafford, New Hampshire, far from extended family and friends. They built our home—and our way of life—on their values, and it shaped everything.

When I work with families, we start the same way: getting clear on what truly matters. Do you prioritize academics? A strong work ethic? Kindness? Following through on commitments? Defining these core values gives parenting direction. But it’s not just about big-picture values; it’s also about the daily rhythms—setting expectations around screen time, family meals, and follow-through with chores and expectations. These small, intentional choices create a home life that reflects your values.

Family Meetings & Cooperation: The Glue That Holds It Together

Cooperation wasn’t just encouraged in my childhood—it was necessary. My parents paved the path, building the road to our homestead on Webber Road.  We didn’t just watch—we worked alongside each other. If the woodstove was our heat source, we chopped and stacked firewood, if the road washed out or was too muddy, we hoed in the ruts and lugged groceries down the snow-covered road by sled. And during the hunting seasons, we watched out and called to each other while walking the ½ mile to the bus stop wearing orange vests. 

Family meetings and discussions were how we figured things out. We discussed chores, responsibilities, how to get along with each other, and how to make life run smoothly. This wasn’t just about survival but being part of something bigger than ourselves. That same cooperative mindset is crucial in today’s families. When kids feel like active participants in family life, they take ownership, work together, and develop a strong sense of responsibility. They are learning what it means to be part of a family.

The Guide and Coach Approach

My parents weren’t authoritarian in their parenting. They didn’t demand obedience or enforce strict rules just for control. Instead, they guided and coached us—whether it was about school, sports, doing our chores or how we treated each other. That’s where I developed my Guide and Coach Approach to parenting, especially for parents with kids in the middle and high school years.

How we treated each other mattered. We talked things through, worked on being kind (especially with our words), and learned that repair—making things right after conflict—was encouraged. This was one of the foundations of our home in the woods, which I bring to my work with families today. 

Connection and Relationship Anchor Everything

More than anything, connection and relationship held it all together. My parents prioritized how we communicated, treated each other, and reconnected when things went wrong. That’s what made our family strong, and it’s what makes families thrive today.

Empowered Parenting: What You Will Learn

This book gives parents a unique roadmap for building an intentional family life, with connection and relationships at the center. You'll gain practical strategies to navigate the key transitions of the middle and high school years, while helping your child grow with confidence and resilience.

You'll learn to be proactive in your parenting—setting clear values, managing screen time, and handling inevitable family conflicts positively. As your child moves through the tween and teen years, you’ll develop the flexibility to adjust your approach while fostering open communication. With the right language and tools—rooted in the unique concepts I learned growing up in the woods of New Hampshire—you'll strengthen your bond and create a solid foundation to support your child well into young adulthood.

Tess Connolly, LCSW, is a Parent and Family Coach with over 20 years of experience as a Clinical Social Worker specializing in children and family mental health. She founded Mindful Kids and Families, where she works inside families to transform family dynamics by strengthening communication, building agreements, and fostering healthy connections between parents and teens.

She also created The Conscious Moms Collective, a supportive membership community for mothers of tweens and teens, offering monthly parent coaching, personal growth opportunities, and a safe space to connect with other moms navigating similar challenges.

As the host of The Parenting Reset Show Podcast, Tess brings her love of real, meaningful conversations to thousands of parents worldwide, offering insights and practical tools to help families thrive.

At the heart of her work is a simple belief: the best parenting skill is already inside you—it’s all about the connection and relationship you build with your child.

Tess lives in Northern California with her teenage son and their dog, Red. She finds joy in chai tea lattes, meditative movement, and her Sunday sunrise cold dips in the San Francisco Bay.